5 Dos and Don’ts for Men Going Through a Divorce
Marriage dissolution is not the easiest time in life: besides splitting up with a person you loved, you still have to meet them in court, defend your position in front of a judge, and be ready for them to decide the terms of your break-up.
But if you are going through a divorce as a man, you have to be even stronger to not let your future ex-wife see your weakness and desire to bring your relationship back. To help you heal while expecting the trial and after it, we created this short guide.
Do: Try to end it peacefully.
The first and foremost thing we suggest that you do is put effort into terminating your marriage without a fight.
Even if you don’t agree with the divorce itself or some of its terms offered by your partner, it’s not worth turning it into a heated fight in court or during the preparatory stage.
Once you see that there is no way to restore your relationship, work together to finish it as peacefully as possible.
Don’t: Put all the blame on your wife.
If your wife was the one to initiate the procedure, it doesn’t mean you should blame her for all the stress that divorce brings into your life.
According to statistics, women, especially those who were promoted during their marriage, tend to divorce more than men.
However, it happens not only due to their new positions, but also because of the time they can dedicate to their families, and their husbands’ inability to accept the new ways of life of their wives.
Even if you also divorce your wife due to her new job responsibilities and limited time for a family, it does not necessarily mean that she is the only one to blame.
Do: Dedicate time to your kids.
Instead of searching for the one whose fault is your split-up, think about the ways to spend quality time with your kids. It is especially valuable if you have small kids in your marriage.
Try to create the feeling of the presence of both parents during the Pennsylvania divorce waiting period so that your kids wouldn’t feel forgotten or lost. Go for long walks together, take them to the amusement park or nearby towns to fulfill your life with memories and positive emotions.
Don’t: Use kids as a way to manipulate your partner.
While trying to spend as much time with your kids as possible, you may feel tempted to use them as a way to influence your partner’s behavior to get the most out of your break-up.
Not every man coping with divorce is smart enough to set their emotions aside and refrain from toxic manipulation using kids.
Do: Be fair.
To decrease the stress level during the divorce procedure, be fair with yourself. Even if you want revenge through a legal split-up with your partner, be honest with yourself and understand your reasons for doing so.
The best option will be to be sincere not only with yourself but also with your partner, but if it’s not the option, then don’t lie at least to yourself.
Don’t: Try to look like the most insulted individual in the world.
Before asking how to deal with divorce as a man, ask yourself whether your conduct is worth respect. Oftentimes, men consider themselves deeply insulted once they find out that their wives filed for divorce.
If you are in the same situation and cannot help but want to let everyone know that your wife dumped you, don’t do that. Looking miserable will not help you to get through the whole process faster.
Do: Suggest an online divorce to speed up the process.
If you don’t want to spend much time on all the hustle with paperwork and filing, contact your partner and offer to get it done online.
In case your divorce is uncontested, such an option will save your money, mental health, and even the possibility to communicate with your wife without additional fights over the stages of the procedure.
Don’t: Postpone filing to the last minute.
Another thing you should avoid during a break-up with your wife is creating obstacles on her way to filing for divorce, including postponing your reply to her Petition, etc.
Regardless of your motives, procrastination can make the process last for years and cause many more expenditures than if you take every stage of the process on time.
Finally, remember that procrastination during legal disputes is about managing emotions, so feel free to follow the next tip to speed up the procedure.
Do: Turn to a psychologist for help.
If you feel like you can’t manage all the hustle inside of you caused by the break-up with your partner, don’t wait any longer and find a professional to resolve your inner issues.
You can join a group of divorcees for support or work one-on-one with a psychotherapist or psychologist: it is up to you to decide what will be more relieving for you.
You can also ask your divorced friends about the kind of therapy they used and how fruitful it was for them.
Don’t: Get used to alcohol to forget about your problems.
The last but not least thing you need to avoid is getting used to bad habits to distract yourself from the issues you are facing.
The procedure of splitting up with your partner will not look any easier if you start drinking or doing drugs: moreover, it can even jeopardize your chances of getting custody over your kids.
Think carefully before using any unhealthy ways to change your perception of reality since they will cause a lot of damage to your relationships with your family, friends, and colleagues in the long run.
Read more: How To Style Your Beard For Each Occasion